Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
