Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
