I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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