every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize