every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Randomize
