Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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