before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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