I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Randomize
