i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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