Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
