i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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