Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
