there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
