is your mom at the bar?
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
