How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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