Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
