somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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