Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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