Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
