He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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