How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
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