I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
