goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
