dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
