My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
