it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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