i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
