There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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