i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
i think i just lost a toe
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
