Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
