My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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