We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
