she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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