you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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