capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
