well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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