I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
