He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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