What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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