so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
