whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
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