She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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