the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
