Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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