so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
You need a sexual gate keeper
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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