Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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