All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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