Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
