My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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