I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
