I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
