And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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