Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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