I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
