so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
