someone get that fucking seahorse.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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