You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
