the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm way too hungover for life right now
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
