she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
