We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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