I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
