he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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