can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
